just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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