ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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