I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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