Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
