It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
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He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I didn't notice because vodka
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
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I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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