Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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