I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
