paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
