I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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