when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
