so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
