Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
