Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
