look no pants
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
