We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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