i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
