she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
