So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
