it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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