You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
