I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
soo... how was my night?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
