we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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