I will die if light touches me.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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