Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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