You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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