I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
