never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He? As in you personified your dick?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
