So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
