Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
