You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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