Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
