I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
