I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
