He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
