It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
