I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
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how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
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Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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