I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
