My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
