yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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