fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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