Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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