Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
