He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
