Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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