I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
