those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
