Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hate all girls vehemently.
Too much gin, very little bucket
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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