If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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