this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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