You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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