and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Randomize