I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ladies don't puke and tell
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
