smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
