Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
