it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hippo gnu deer
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
