I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
