we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
