thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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