matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize