now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
