once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
sex in a hospital.. check
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
